DiScOvErY

it's been a lil while. figured it's about 'time.'

i'm in jinja uganda now.

it's hotter here, more humid, town, bodas (like motorcycles you ride everywhere when you don't walk) better looking men here than in kenya (in general), more kind people (minus getting punched the other day randomly by a possibly 'not all there' man in the matatu stage), less 'give me' comments (though, there are still more than i like), less harassment, weird bargaining (i'm not on my game, or they're not on their game. i 'walk away', and they let me. no sale. still don't have this down in jinja. too many mzungu's here that they are able to keep their silly mzungu prices), still getting tired of not knowing whether items (such as a matatu ride, a pineapple, etc) REALLY costs as much as they tell me-or if they just see my skin and decide to charge/try to charge more (makes me feel like my guard is up too much that i'm getting taken advantage of, or makes me feel stupid. boo), beautiful (green! the nile is nearby, and so is the lake...though...i need to go enjoy BOTH more), still poverty for sure and social issues-but seems a lil less obvi to me currently what i 'should' do here besides suubi stuff, miss my friends and fam from home still, more mzungu places here to eat/cyber, people friendly still and take care of each other.

i'm learning to bead (more, i've LEARNED!!!). i just bought my varnish today (which was quite an accomplishment finding the store...going place to place.) so i'll finish my necklaces, or bracelets hopefully tonight while watching mama mia! (my first movie to watch here! i'm not huge on movies, but mama mia! is just calling my name...and movies are cheap here so...gonna go make that purchase!). the women are great. they've shown me how to roll the beads, and all the steps (liz and i are making a how to video, etc). during meetings, i'll roll with the women and some will grab my strips and roll for me. so that's fun bc all i make will also have a part of some of the women in them!

i feel this place is so different than what i imagined and what was described to me. it's strange how imagination, others comments, and expectations (no matter how hard we try to not have expectations) can manifest in your head and be so far from how you 'feel' it is somewhere.

GOD is beautiful. went to sipi falls this weekend and looooved attempting to NOT slide down a path that was mud, to get close to the strong waterfall. this was one of my best moments in africa. ha. or at least best GOD moments. we were getting misted so much from this waterfall and it was somewhat cold with all the water soaking us and dripping off our faces, hair, and clothes. but i laughed, SO hard and joyfully, and felt like a child, so pure and carefree in spirit. loved it because, i feel weighed down sometimes here (which is good, i think it causes stretching. and it's gotta be that way i think bc...this is different and i am learning).

what else...i'm still trying to find my place here. i'm going to the suubi meetings almost every day (we do an english meeting, necklace making meeting, teachers meeting, and buying meeting. M, T, W, F.) i met a man who owns a cyber who is directing me to a AIDS clinic or group or something where a lot of the kids are orphaned bc of AIDS or have AIDS. somehow this group is missionary or christian or something. we'll see. i tried to find it today, but had no luck. maybe i'm blind. so i'll try again hopefully later this week. also, as life works out, i've spent almost all my 'extra/GOD money' i had before the trip. i want to go to the hospital and bring manzazi and bananas to the kids or whoever there and maybe help get some prescriptions. so, i remembered joanna saying something about extra money at the house for this is volunteers want to go...so I DO!!! i'm going to hopefully start going. i'll have to assess. this all sounds great, but who knows what it really is or what will actually happen. my plans...nope.

my friends from KENYA are coming this week. they come in on the 21st...i'll meet them in kampala (liz is leaving on the 20th...so i'll go down with her...side note...liz is AWESOME. we clicked from the first hour we were together. we are almost the same person, i didn't know what i'd think if i met myself, but it's good. ha. we have learned a lot from each other and our conversations. anyways...moving on...). then we will TRY to go to ssisy island (oops, i forgot what it's called. get sipi and this sissy islands place mixed. hope thats right). anyways, it looks gorgeous. but, apparantly the boat going there is broke...so again, we'll see what ends up happening. i'm sure an adventure nonetheless, including probably 5x the amount of travel time than what would 'actually' be needed. i'm excited though! then they'll come to jinja for a few days. about a week total with them. so another lil 'trip' on my ultimately full 'africa trip.'

i'm learning a lot about other people, and probably myself. figured i'd have more of an idea of what i want to do with my life (or at least...start of a 'career') and where i want to live, etc. but i don't. i'm more...something than before (the word 'unsure' doesn't fit, the word 'lost' doesn't seem to fit either). but...i'm excited for my next 'step' when i go home...to live with the parents. i'd love to get a holiday job. you know...a job that you could have had in high school before you graduated before the economy and before a college diploma. anyways, planning on getting a job somewhere in gj for a while when i get home. we'll see when it comes. but as far as the potential of grad school and a 'career'...not sure if this is what my life will look like bc i don't see as much fun adventure and carefreeness in all of that. i know that's a non responsible answer, but that's my answer for now.

i want to be invisible sometimes here. i've never wanted that before (except for once when i read this book where this kid could turn invisible, i wanted to get to do that too for fun). i love the friendlieness here, and the friends i've met and everyone that surrounds me. i don't want to 'get away' from them, more i feel like i want to be completely alone. not sure if this is just another step in my discovering my 'aloneness' or what. i want to go to a cabin somewhere for 1 or 2 weeks and paint, or do whatever. maybe some walks. reading. and have no one else around. i've NEVER felt this way before, so this is good maybe. so maybe when i get home...i'll try to do this. it gets tiring even just going for a walk to be alone for 30 minutes to just 'be' and not to get to do that (happened lots in maasailand). it's the best bc it's amazing people are so friendly and interested, but everything is a double edged sword (is that the right phrase. i'm always bad at phrases. "when in rome..."). as i was driving yesterday i was imagining jesus. thinking of how he loved, etc. and thought, he wanted alone time too. he needed to be 'refreshed' by GOD. this is why he would go away alone to nature. i feel this is me right now. i got 'refreshed' this weekend in sipi falls and want MORE!!! so i can love more and go and do more. it's hard when living in a town with people bc it's so easy to just go go go (go go go is here different. it's like...go.......go.....go......) ha.

i'm reading "eat, pray, love" and it's wonderfully written. if you want a fun book, read this. i'm reading it at the perfect time i think and my friend alison is reading it, so i get to learn about the authors travels, learn about me (i'm similar to her a lil i think), and feel CONNECTED to alison. so, it's awesome. let me know if you read it and like it! oh, and i think 'my word' is DISCOVER.

i've written enough. time to go start and EPOH meeting.

hope as summer winds down, you are able to catch a little more relaxation and fun!